To Be A Liberal

To be a Liberal, you have to believe that:

1) ... the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.

2) ... capital punishment is unethical, but for abortion on demand is not. In short you support protecting the guilty and you support killing the innocent.

3) ... the same school teacher who cannot teach your fourth grader how to read or do simple math is qualified to teach your child about homosexuals, how to apply condoms, abortion, and tolerance for terrorists that murder Americans.

4) ... trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid criminals.

5) ... guns in the hands of law abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Chinese communists or radical Islamic countries that have sworn to destroy America.

6) ... global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the brilliance of the sun and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

7) ... global warming is caused by SUVs driven by Americans and not by other automobiles driven by the rest of the world.

8) ... gender roles are artificial and that being gay is natural.

9) ... free enterprise creates oppression and proverty while government sponsored social programs cause prosperity.

10) ... self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11) ... art is impossible without federal funding.

12) ... the military starts wars and corrupt politicians do not.

13) ... homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

14) ... Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15) ... the only reason socialism has not worked anywhere it has been tried is because the right people have not been in charge.

16) ... the NRA is evil because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution while the ACLU is virtuous because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution.

17) ... standardized tests are racist, but racial set-asides are not.

18) ... this message is a part of a vast, Right-Wing Conspiracy.